brighter days ahead...
A few weeks ago one of my pals came unglued when someone she thought was a friend did something that immediately abolished their relationship. This is what happens to us tender hearted babes when we assume that everyone treats us the way we would treat them.
This is one of the toughest life lessons in the world—for me at least—and there's no magic recipe for how to handle poor treatment or betrayal. I'm here to tell you though that getting older and wiser eases the pain of all kinds of things—except knee surgery and a bad back.
My own journey to a point of calmness and eventual forgiveness in all things relationship centered has been about as rocky as yours I am guessing. I was not popular with the in-crowd during my younger years and I would be lying if I said I didn't cry myself to sleep over all those non-inclusive events, dances, parties—everything except Girl Scouts—when I was growing up.
Then there's that first blush of betrayal from someone I really thought was a friend that riddled me with anger, and well, that happened a lot and I probably did it too, although the mere thought of hurting someone makes me drop to my knees.
The loss of great love, and the loss via deaths, and the loss of dreams and all that other crap we have to go through when we signed on the dotted line and became little humans is never and will never be easy.
But I have found that forgiveness is a wonderful thing. This can go two ways. You can forgive yourself for having expectations that couldn't be met and you can forgive the other side of this mess just because if you don't you may end up getting a horrid disease by keeping things inside.
I'm not saying any of this is easy but it is kind of freeing. We all bring tons of life-filled junk into relationships, even if they are casual, and in the end there are always, always, always two sides to the story.
So the best I can offer today for all your hurting hearts is two-fold. First look at the sky and take a breath. It's going to be okay. And secondly I have a few thousand openings for new friends so send in your application and I will try my best not to hurt your feelings or make you sad.
And okay...I'm still not the most popular girl in town but now I don't give a damn. That's great medicine too!