thankful for me...
So I was going to write my usual "everything is beautiful" Thanksgiving blog and go on about how lucky I am to be alive and have a great family and wonderful kids and a partner who loves me even when I am a jackass and to always have had the courage to do what I know is right and to follow my heart.
But I started to feel sorry for myself and didn't write that. First I lined up all the crap that has happened to me this year—horrid dental mess, two skin cancer messes, one terrible knee surgery mess, the demise of publishing as I knew it mess, the car blowing up twice mess, the realization that my knee is never going to really get better mess, the weight gain because of the knee mess, the remodel cancellation mess, the travel cancellation mess, the condo assessment mess....well, you get the drill here.
As the Queen of Happiness and Personal Empowerment I realize that you count on me to be pulling myself up by the bra straps all of the time. Speaking of that—what the hell happened to the girls? They are slowly heading South! Anyway, I have thought about focusing on this crap for a long time and guess what? It's okay!!!
I give you and me and everyone the permission to feel sorry for yourselves once in a while. So yes go cry a bit, sit in the dark, swear at the moon, drink three bottles of wine—whatever it takes. I actually slapped someone recently. Honest. Obviously I had reached the end of whatever dark tunnel I have been walking through and bam—out it came. Thank God this woman is someone who is a dear friend and she claims to still like me. Whew.
Not everything has fallen into place yet but I take my Queenly responsibilities very seriously. I'm doing something about all this SHIT. Whoaa—that felt good. Now when I get home and the house is not on fire I laugh! I took half a day off this week and I'm cranking up my workouts. I said no twice in the past three days. I'm not contacting people who never respond and I've drawn an invisible line around my inner and outter parts that need a bit more TLC.
Of course I'm glad I wasn't born in a third world country and that I can still walk and there is food in the frig. I still praise the skies for that stuff all of the time but I remain just a little disappointed about all the stuff in the first paragraph. This too shall pass.
So feel sorry but let us not linger in disappointment. I am available for face slapping if you think it will help you and if you hear a big loud giggle—it's just me laughing every single time I look into the mirror. What in the hell happened to my tight skin anyway?