the reality of survival...

Posted: 8/20/2014

     I'm all about moving forward but sometimes it's okay to step back from things and people and events and all the  things that do not feed your soul. I am giving you permission. I am also trying to do this myself.
     That's why I haven't been writing as many blogs, and appearing on social media outlets a gazillion times a day and worrying about what the world and many of the people in it have to say about my books, my hair, my age, my sweet wine belly or what they think they might know about me.
     The reality of survival is sometimes a tough nut to crack. My reality includes not just one job but many. I wish I could just sit here day after day and type all the stories that keep parading through my lively head. I wish I didn't have to clean the bathrooms, and answer the phone, and run another business that sometimes requires me to work so many hours that I often forget what day it actually is when I wake up the next morning.
     And I'm not really complaining—you do NOT want to be around when that happens. What I am doing is realizing that in order to grab a glimpse of the gorgeous sunset that you see up there sometimes you have to say, "Hell, no I am not doing that."
     Yesterday, after thinking I was going to be able to write all day I was called away. Anywone who loves what they do and then cannot do it knows how painful this is. But sometimes reality can be a bummer. I did my duty and then when my son suggested we might shake off the blues by taking the kayaks out I realized that was much more important than even my beloved sentences in chapter two.
     After an amazing paddle, there were nesting birds and jumping fish and a quiet moment when we just held hands and talked about how lucky we were to be so close, I said to him, "You will never really regret what you did but you will always regret what you didn't do."
     The bathrooms eventually must be cleaned and I like to stay in touch with my friends and readers but so much of that can wait.  Think about what is really necessary. Think about your own heart. Think about the joy of quiet.
     Step back...that's me back there and you are welcome to come hang with me any old time you feel like it.    



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